One night after a community youth group, the young people who attended, were all saying good-night to each other in their normal way, testosterone based hugs among the guys and hugs and kisses between the guys and girls. I later heard that a group of young people were looking on and remarked to one of our workers, “there’s nuff love between your people.” Love has something about it that connects with something inside of us; we don’t always know it for sure but when we see it and experience it, we know it.
I’ve never seen love as being purely hormonal, although it can make you act in some crazily hormonal ways; I see it as stronger than just random and changeable feelings. It is principled and more concrete than its media and MTV portrayal. Love is rooted, sure about itself, even if it sometimes leaves us with the feeling that we’ll never truly know it. It cares enough to be honest and loves enough to let go. It’s clear enough not to change its mind at the first sign of trouble; but won’t stay where its abused and treated indifferently.
Love is difficult, because its boundaries are uninhibited, making us leave our places of comfort and confront what it asks of us. We realise that we don’t have all the answers as individuals but we have a heart to find them. And yet, we still remain afraid to love, because we don’t know what love is suppose to look like anymore, it seems so unstable, unsure of itself; just when we think we do know, the goal posts get shifted (literally up-rooted) and that’s why “love is long”. But that’s not Love’s fault, we’re the one’s who have played the fool with love.
So then, what do we do? How do we address this love thing???? We’ve got to renew the value we place on love and ourselves. Love is other-centered and the value we place on others must begin to reflect that. The problem with living in an age that places no importance on the past or future, is that the only person in the present you value is yourself. Love is being sold as self-love to the exclusion of all else. If there is one thing that is true, it is that people matter, with all their hopes, dreams, fears, joy and pain, they still matter.
I never grew up with a father or father figure for that matter. My dad left my mum and the rest of his children when I was 5yrs old and after 25yrs of marriage and 10 children, my mum was understandably done with love and marriage. So growing up in my house meant growing up with no real pattern or model of what emotional love between a man and woman looked like. No man, except her sons, ever brought my mum flowers; I never saw her walk hand in hand with another man, other than one of her 5 sons. I never heard her laugh than secret laugh, that lovers laugh when they’re in that private place with each other…Never!
Oh don’t get it twisted; love was strong in the family and in our home, mum had love to spare, even when there wasn’t time to love. However, the beautiful consenting love between a father and mother that makes a family whole never lived at our place.
Then the time came when it was my turn to love as a husband, father and man in my own home and I was gripped with a fearful panic. I felt that I was in danger of being as dysfunctional and destructive as my father was, because I had no real pattern or model of love, no foundation to build my home on. Then one day it hit me like daylight around the bend of a tunnel. Although I had never seen any real pattern of how love should look, in my heart, I had a sense of what it should have looked like. I knew what I deserved to see, what my life missed and my soul craved. It was knowing this, that made me build my love concept around the beauty I should have seen.
It saved my love of love, my in love-ness with love and taught me not to be fearful of losing it.
Love will give us the option to choose from the real patterns it has out there, even if we only perceive it. Love is still imprinted in the human DNA, experience, even longing and will always find way to give us a new perspective on an old saga. To what extent we choose to love, depends largely on where we’ve been with love. We still must choose to take the unpredictable, but necessary journey it offers us. I don’t know much, but I do know that if I couldn’t love, life would be seriously meaningless.
Love is a roller coaster ride. I know the twists, turns, climbs and mind numbing plunges leave us reeling, but I’d rather jump in the box car and take the ride, than be one the mug's standing by the railings watching someone else enjoy the ride.
Love is Long? na, I don’t think so…
I’ve never seen love as being purely hormonal, although it can make you act in some crazily hormonal ways; I see it as stronger than just random and changeable feelings. It is principled and more concrete than its media and MTV portrayal. Love is rooted, sure about itself, even if it sometimes leaves us with the feeling that we’ll never truly know it. It cares enough to be honest and loves enough to let go. It’s clear enough not to change its mind at the first sign of trouble; but won’t stay where its abused and treated indifferently.
Love is difficult, because its boundaries are uninhibited, making us leave our places of comfort and confront what it asks of us. We realise that we don’t have all the answers as individuals but we have a heart to find them. And yet, we still remain afraid to love, because we don’t know what love is suppose to look like anymore, it seems so unstable, unsure of itself; just when we think we do know, the goal posts get shifted (literally up-rooted) and that’s why “love is long”. But that’s not Love’s fault, we’re the one’s who have played the fool with love.
So then, what do we do? How do we address this love thing???? We’ve got to renew the value we place on love and ourselves. Love is other-centered and the value we place on others must begin to reflect that. The problem with living in an age that places no importance on the past or future, is that the only person in the present you value is yourself. Love is being sold as self-love to the exclusion of all else. If there is one thing that is true, it is that people matter, with all their hopes, dreams, fears, joy and pain, they still matter.
I never grew up with a father or father figure for that matter. My dad left my mum and the rest of his children when I was 5yrs old and after 25yrs of marriage and 10 children, my mum was understandably done with love and marriage. So growing up in my house meant growing up with no real pattern or model of what emotional love between a man and woman looked like. No man, except her sons, ever brought my mum flowers; I never saw her walk hand in hand with another man, other than one of her 5 sons. I never heard her laugh than secret laugh, that lovers laugh when they’re in that private place with each other…Never!
Oh don’t get it twisted; love was strong in the family and in our home, mum had love to spare, even when there wasn’t time to love. However, the beautiful consenting love between a father and mother that makes a family whole never lived at our place.
Then the time came when it was my turn to love as a husband, father and man in my own home and I was gripped with a fearful panic. I felt that I was in danger of being as dysfunctional and destructive as my father was, because I had no real pattern or model of love, no foundation to build my home on. Then one day it hit me like daylight around the bend of a tunnel. Although I had never seen any real pattern of how love should look, in my heart, I had a sense of what it should have looked like. I knew what I deserved to see, what my life missed and my soul craved. It was knowing this, that made me build my love concept around the beauty I should have seen.
It saved my love of love, my in love-ness with love and taught me not to be fearful of losing it.
Love will give us the option to choose from the real patterns it has out there, even if we only perceive it. Love is still imprinted in the human DNA, experience, even longing and will always find way to give us a new perspective on an old saga. To what extent we choose to love, depends largely on where we’ve been with love. We still must choose to take the unpredictable, but necessary journey it offers us. I don’t know much, but I do know that if I couldn’t love, life would be seriously meaningless.
Love is a roller coaster ride. I know the twists, turns, climbs and mind numbing plunges leave us reeling, but I’d rather jump in the box car and take the ride, than be one the mug's standing by the railings watching someone else enjoy the ride.
Love is Long? na, I don’t think so…
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